In the State of New Mexico, some of the most heavily contested issues during a divorce case involve a determination as to which spouse will be awarded primary custody of the children. For example, in the event that two divorcing spouses cannot agree to a suitable custodial arrangement, then a New Mexico District Court will need to render an appropriate decision on their behalf. However, for parties who are capable of negotiating the terms of their divorce, they have the option in New Mexico of working with a settlement facilitator to negotiate the terms of custody within their Marital Settlement Agreement. A Marital Settlement Agreement is a document that includes the terms of a couple’s divorce, which may include such issues as a custody and visitation schedule, a special holiday visitation schedule, various parenting provisions and child support information as well as other matters (i.e. spousal support, property division, etc.). In other words, it is an agreement that is negotiated between the parties that spells out the terms of a couple’s divorce.
Overall, there are numerous benefits associated with negotiating the terms of custody through settlement. First, it enables the parties to render a determination about custody and visitation that fits their specific needs and lifestyle. For instance, one spouse may work days while the other works nights. If a court needs to get involved, then both parties might not obtain the specific schedule that works best for them in light of their unique set of circumstances. If the parties are able to work all terms out through an agreement, then they may receive a more favorable result since a judge will not always tailor his or her decision in a way that will leave everyone satisfied. Additionally, it also allows the parties to remain in control during their divorce proceeding. Otherwise stated, being able to render your own decisions during your divorce case may help take the pain out of the process and enable the entire proceeding to run smoothly.
Notwithstanding the above, working together with your spouse to develop an appropriate custodial and visitation arrangement involves a significant amount of compromise as well as patience. Accordingly, if you are looking to negotiate child custody through settlement, it is crucial to keep in mind the following:
• Be honest and forthcoming about everything from the start. For instance, parties to a divorce must disclose their respective finances to one another. The more honest and upfront you are in this regard, the easier the process will be to work with your spouse and finalize the terms of your custody agreement.
• Try to be as open-minded and patient with your spouse as possible. Understandably, the fact that you were unable to get along with your spouse is likely why you are seeking a divorce in the first place. However, being as patient, non-confrontational and easy going as possible will certainly go a long way. Meaning, the more you listen to your spouse and take the emotion out of the process, the higher the likelihood that he or she will be willing compromise with you.
• Don’t put your children in the middle. Although the subject matter of your custodial arrangement is your children, it doesn’t mean that they need to be involved in the drafting or negotiation process. Regardless of the circumstances, putting your children in the middle or debating issues in front of them will create more tension and problems for them than what it is worth. Keep your discussions private and be sure to remain positive with your children during the process.
• Consider all of your expenses. Make sure to consider all of your expenses when negotiating with your spouse, including, e.g., costs medical care, health insurance, daycare, and private education costs. Not considering these costs upfront can create conflict between former spouses when they become necessary in the future.
In light of the above, it is important to understand that while this article may have addressed some of your questions and concerns, it is solely to provide you with a general summary of the law and does not qualify as legal advice. Accordingly, we recommend that you contact qualified legal counsel to advise you of your legal options as well as the scope of your rights and responsibilities. Contact our office today at (505) 989-8117 to schedule a free, confidential consultation.
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