While the adversarial process is sometimes a necessary component of child custody disputes in divorce and paternity actions, children generally benefit from the ability of parents to reach amicable co-parenting agreements. When parents cannot cooperate in custody cases, this can have a negative impact on minor children. If either parent openly disparages the other parent or attempts to create negative feelings toward the other parent, the child may experience a psychological condition referred to by mental health professionals as “parental alienation syndrome.”
Because attempts by one parent to alienate minor children can have such a detrimental impact on kids and the parent-child relationship, family law judges typically consider such conduct when fashioning timeshare and custody arrangements. We have provided some key information for parents about parental alienation syndrome that was discussed in a recent article in Psychology Today.
Parental alienation syndrome is caused by parents who elect not to shield their children from disputes over parental issues and essentially force kids to take sides. Sometimes parental alienation can be so extreme that a custodial parent manipulates the child into disliking the other parent or into refusing to visit and spend time with the other parent. As Edward Kruk, Ph.D. , explains, “Parental alienation involves the ‘programming’ of a child by one parent to denigrate the ‘targeted’ parent, in an effort to undermine and interfere with the child’s relationship with that parent, and is often a sign of a parent’s inability to separate from the couple conflict and focus on the need of the child.”
Although parental alienation can involve many forms of conduct, it is far more common in custody disputes than many parents assume. One study found that approximately 11-15 percent of divorces involving children include a judicial finding of parental alienation by one of the parents. The authors of the study suggest that this dramatically understates the prevalence of conduct amounting to parental alienation because judges may not make a formal finding on the record of this type of inappropriate conduct, and sometimes the conduct is never exposed. Common forms of conduct by an offending parent that can damage the child’s relationship with the other parent include:
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Inappropriately limiting or restricting contact with the other parent
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Forcing children to choose sides by threatening to withhold affection
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Suggesting the other parent is dangerous or unsafe without a justifiable basis
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Minimizing the importance of contact with the extended family of the other parent (e.g. grandparents)
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Forbidding pictures or discussions that involve the other parent
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Making disparaging comments about the other parent in the child’s presence
These are just a few examples of the types of conduct by the party to a child custody dispute that can damage a child’s relationship with the other parent. Parental alienation syndrome not only harms the child’s relationship with the other parent but also can cause other significant damage to the child. The Psychology Today article indicates that multiple studies have shown these long-term effects include:
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Self-hatred
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Lack of attachment toward their own children
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Poor self esteem
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Substance abuse
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Depression
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Inability to trust others
How an Attorney Can Make a Difference in a
New Mexico Child Support Case
The above information is provided to illustrate general principles of law and should not be interpreted as a specific legal opinion on an individual case. You should contact experienced legal counsel to get specific legal advice that is based upon your specific circumstances.
If you are involved in a New Mexico child custody dispute and worried about attempts by the other parent to damage your relationship with your children, our child custody law firm invites you to sit down with us so that we can discuss your situation. The Jay Goodman & Associates offers a free consultation in our centrally located offices in Santa Fe and Albuquerque so that we can discuss your alternatives. Call us today to schedule your free consultation at (505) 989-8117 to learn about your rights and options.
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